Not sure what to do when I am so tired I just want to cry. I know we are all there sometime, but I am so tired I think I could collapse. I feel I am going to be too tired to go back to the hospital and have enough strength if Daniel gets sick. I am terrified how much strength it is going to take. I am so busy trying to get the house organized and ready to leave and Matthew all set up and things cleaned and organized that I think if anyone analyzed me thay would think I was honestly manic. I feel like the mouse in If You Give A Mouse A Cookie every moment. Every time I turn around I start another project. I can’t say I am not finishing the first one, but I do have a lot going on. Plus I am not getting a chance to get any of MY STUFF done. Yes, I have let all my things I wanted to do fall by the wayside AGAIN. Although, I did set the goal of getting Matthew downstairs and that is accomplished and I did want to fill the fridge and cook for Daniel to eat home cooking and gain weight and that was accomplished and I froze foods so that was accomplished. I DID do one thing for me. I did FINALLY get my haircut for the first time since June, no maybe April. And because of waiting so long and the damage that ensued from the hospital I had to lose almost 10 inches of damaged hair. That is a lot of length and a lot of damage. I don’t know how I can avoid that from happening again and I may be ending up with a pixie cut in the end. I told Daniel I would shave my head in solidarity with him in the beginning and he told me DON’T YOU DARE. I just may end up there by default. The weekend ended up being very hectic even though Matthew was gone at a convention all weekend. We were given a suite at the Avalanche hockey game by the hospital late Friday afternoon which was SWEEEEET indeed. They gave it to us from Seacrest studio so we can enjoy a night out while out of the hospital without worrying about germs in a crowd. It was such a last minute score for a suite that it was hard to wrangle up a big crowd in time, but we had a small group and had a great time at a great game. The rest of the weekend was spent home and cooking and cleaning and running and cleaning and cooking and repeat. As long as Daniel is staying healthy we are good. This next week is filled with lots of appointments, sports shows, a visit from my sister Rochelle and Uncle Mike. I haven’t seen my sister since this shit year started in February with her surgery and Daniel’s first hospital stay which brought me quickly back to Denver. Has it really only been since February? It seems like 20 years ago. Rochelle and I don’t talk often but probably text no less than 300 messages a day. I am not kidding. We never could have gotten through an afternoon without each other on the other end of the screen. Whether it be for a complaint or a question or a cry or mostly a laugh. Our bond has grown tremendously and I can’t wait to see her even if it is for just a day and a half. I know we certainly can’t compare whose year has been worse but at least we have had each other there to share it. Even if it has only been through words it has meant the same to me because I know we have been there for each other no matter what. We are each the strongest people to each other.