Having a few minutes to sit and write is blissful since moments like this of rest are far and few between. Daniel is very high maintenance at home. It is okay because we would rather be at home but it is really hard to keep up with up. Mornings are probably the toughest since the hardest part is to time everthing so that Daniel isn’t throwing up his medicine. He is between the bathroom peeing with bigger and more blood clots now but that is okay because things are still flowing. He is taking so much pain medication that it is really doing a trick on his stomach though. It is a double edged sword I suppose. He is very hungry but the medicine is making his stomach sick and he is throwing everything up so in order to keep his medication absorbed it is all timing. So in order to keep cooking everything fresh and cleaning up that kitchen mess and cleaning up the throw up and the laundry from the bathroom issues you can imagine that I feel like a full time nurse made. There is a lot of uncleanliness to keep clean around here and that is the most important thing right now. Although mornings are tough, nights are crazy too. Daniel is up at least every 15 to 20 minutes nd I find that I can’t fall back asleep once I am up. So doing all this on sleeplessness is not going well but Daniel himself is holding his own and can be very helpful. Rob is learning to fill the night time medicine order while I am doing IV fluids since I am floundering at multitasking these days. I know it sounds like I am complaining and I totally am. I am tired and not sleeping but I am glad to be home. Really. I hate that I am still technically in isolation and not seeing anyone or that Daniel doesn’t want to accept any outside food (he is right though, since we have so many restriction it is still the right thing to do). It is just hard and isolating…hmm, I just got that. Regardless, again I say I am happy to be home. Matthew is being helpful in that he can run out to pick things up, now that he has his license. I also do not want to ask too much of him since it is also his winter break and he should get to enjoy some of his break. I feel terrible that he has had to compromise so much of his social life because every time he wants to do something he has to check if a friend is sick or has sick family members and has to cancel a lot of plan and when I have typically always prided myself with being the house that was where the kids came over to hang out at, because I felt better keeping an eye on them and I liked to feed them and entertain them, now no one can come over anymore. Now Matthew has a whole new set of friends form his new school and I haven’t met any of them. I am very uneasy about this and unsure when they go out. I know this is part of him growing up, but I am not ready for this yet. I still like to keep tabs on him. Especially now, with all that has gone on I have an extra need to keep him extra safe. I do know he is happy with Daniel being home and he is trying very hard to be patient with the situation. Matthew is trying to hang out more with Daniel, even though it is difficult when he spends most of his time in the bathroom. It makes it hard to watch a movie or play a video game. But he is trying and that means a lot to me. We are going to try to get through the next few days at home and keep flushing the system with fluids and treating the symptoms and doing the laundry and just trying to get through this bought of hemhoragic cystitis that sucks the big one. I feel so terrible for this kid. This phase has been difficult and trying for us both and I hope it passes soon for his sake more than mine. I will medicate with caffine which is also doing a trick on my stomach I fear, but again, we will prevail.