Not that I am a vain person by any means. But as I sit and have ample time to reflect at the hospital these days I reflect on many different things. One of them came to me last night when I was up at 3 a.m. I was looking at my jewelry. I now wear and don't take off. Compared to what it used to be it made me laugh and think about how much things have changed in my life over the past months. I used to wear my diamond tennis bracelet and my Rolex watch from Rob, both given and received with very much love and thought. now I wear these. One of the bracelets given by two friends Ronit and Amy before I had my surgery and has not been taken off a single moment. The other brought back from Israel from Cindy (along with the surprise sandwich) has added to my Jewish faith that I believe we will all be fine in our strength in this struggle. I will keep these red bracelets until they fall off. The other is unfortunately the other constant reminder of where we are. The bracelet that is like a tracking device that identifies me with our number. Yes another number. Daniels birthdate and patient number which we can recite backwards and forwards. Although we still remember he has a name he is identified by number countless times a day or hour some days for meds by ID number to get said meds. Another number I can't stand anymore. This piece of cheap crap jewelry I will gladly get rid of some day, although It is probably THE MOST EXPENSIVE one if you think of it. Monetarily and of course it is the worth of our child. It may only be a piece of paper but what it represents is so much more. It makes me identify with every other parent that walks these halls and rides these elevators too because I know they also have their own story as well. I wonder what jewels they are praying for in which room as they wear out their paper bracelets. I have a new piece of jewelry too that I haven't taken off. I got a beautiful necklace from Annie that I now refer to my 'sister of circumstance' she gifted me a necklace that says believe. It is slim and delicate and I go to sleep with my hand holding it on my neck every night and every morning I wake up with my hand in the exact same place. I believe it helps me sleep through the night and it helps me get through my days because I believe we will get through this struggle with the help of our friends and their support. It is the little thought that you all send at just the right moments that help get me through. They are thoughtful gestures that mean more than what they actually are. Whether it is a text or a comment, a challah or fruit, a piece of jewelry or a card for game for Daniel it speaks volumes to the amount of love that you all share with us. I know it won't physically make his condition change but it does make us mentally and spiritually stronger and that means the world to us. That helps us everyday.