Last night we found out what implosion means. Small spaces are not conducive to family meetings. Without getting into details or sharing too much, let’s just say that the only way to explain it is that right now THIS IS WHERE OUR FAMILY HAS TO HAPPEN. There is nowhere to hide and nowhere to escape. And it was a blow out. In fact the night before last Daniel and I watched the movie Shawshank Redemption (which he loved by the way) and he correlated us as being in the hole. When I asked him about it he said that he felt that he was stuck here but that at least I got to leave. Anyway last night when Rob and Matthew both came and brought dinner, some school and family issues that needed addressing needed to be addressed. Mom hasn’t been home in three weeks so guess what. Room 761 is home when we are all in it. Tempers flared (yes mostly mine) , voices raised (yep, mine again) and before long Daniel was painfully upset and needed to leave to the outside room that is still attached to ours that I have never been so grateful to have. He tried to escape to the bathroom but we had just had Chinese for dinner and well (yes, that was my fault too-just kidding). After the match was over and we were exhausted (but is the conversation ever REALLY over). Rob and Matthew left and Daniel said he couldn’t handle them being up here anymore if it was doing to always end in arguing and yelling. I tried to explain that it is hard to avoid when we have to take care of family matters and this is the only place to do it when we don’t get to see eachother any other place and without hesitation he demanded that starting tomorrow I am to leave. He instisted that he is stuck in here. I am not. He has to stay, I do not. There is nothing that is keeping me in here. In fact he will take care of himself for the day and maybe get more done with me out of his way. I don’t need to be here at all. REEEEEEEAAAAAALLLLLY. He then said he loves me and he feels fortunate that he gets to have me here all day and night and he is grateful and he knows a lot of the kids here don’t have that and he appreciates everything I do for him. And he loves every minute I am with him, but I don’t have to do it and he can spend the day on his own. Then we went through a daily scenario about, who will bring him his toothbrush, who will bring make him breakfast and lunch and bring him drinks and the urinal and the remote and the homework and the spirometer and get him to walk and get him to stretch and stop the beeping machines and be here for the doctors every 30 minutes and, And, AND. He seemed to have an answer for it all and said he would call if he needed anything, then backtracked and told me I would definatly need to be back for dinner. Soooo. I am getting ready to leave this morning. I am making my bed and cleaning up and I will see if he is up or not before I leave. We will test the theory and see how things go.
I think I will go home and take a very long hot shower. It has been three weeks since I have been home so I do not know what to expect. I will play with the dog and maybe just have a long nap and then come back and see how the day went. I wonder how many phone calls I will have, and see if I can stay away past noon.
I think I will go home and take a very long hot shower. It has been three weeks since I have been home so I do not know what to expect. I will play with the dog and maybe just have a long nap and then come back and see how the day went. I wonder how many phone calls I will have, and see if I can stay away past noon.