Daniel may be feeling fine even though his numbers are in the tanker, but I am not doing so great. I am feeling really worn down. I know Rob is feeling it too. I haven't taken any pain medication after my surgery and since after Daniel had his horrifying incident for fear of something else happening even though I know and have been told it won't, but I am sore and beat up and have a constant headache and haven't had any real rest. I haven't been eating great here (or rather at all) hence the headache, so days are dragging and numbers are not moving. The good news is Daniel is happy and we are keeping him that way and that is most important. We made last minute arrangements for Mathew to take a little get-a-way to my sister in Toronto until Monday which will be nice for all of them. He certainly deserves a little bit of a summer vacation before school starts. I know it sounds trivial but when the doctors say that the parents need to take care of themselves so that they are able to take care of their kids and we roll our eyes because they don't understand...they do understand. I think the emotional exhaustion is setting in. I think it is due to the combonation of my physical condition with the time lingering at this point. I looked at Rob in disbelief the other day when he said this round has been harder for him. I don't discount his feelings and respect his point of view but do not understand it. I will take it this way any time. The fact that Daniel hasn't had any pain or sickness overrides EVERYTHING. Compared to his unbearable pain and constant screaming for weeks on end last time I will take long and drawn out boring everytime. I think I am just tired. I know I am allowed to complain and all that and I deserve to feel this way blah blah blah but I wonder if it is just a funk. Please G-d I hope it is just a funk. Yesterday was a mess. Aside from my computer not working and Daniel's videos being too loud and a migraine and no clean clothes and no good food choices I just wanted OUT. Out of all of it, until I realized there is no out of it. This is our deck we are dealt. This is our hand we will play no matter how the chips fall. Today will be better. It will have to be. Today Rob will bring clean laundry and some better food hopefully and I will have a shower and Daniel JUST asked what we are going to do today so after his breakfast I guess the activities begin. I will get through another day and everyday after that. We all have bad days right?