Yesterday was such a huge emotional and energy high and today is polar opposite. We (Daniel) haven't had a bad day in so long I don't think he even remembers how bad it feels. I think he was so built up yesterday thinking about going home today that it was even further to fall when he was woken to find out how low his numbers fell this morning. These stupid fucking numbers. We live by this stupid number count and I am really sick of it today. It was the first time since I can remember I could see Daniel physically get sad and upset. He was crushed and I felt terrible for him. He knew right away he wasn't going to get to go home. he already had plans in his head for what he wanted to do. He really wants to go see his friends on their first day of school tomorrow. Right now he is having a blood transfusion which ultimately will help him feel great but he is forcing himself to sleep through it, which will ultimately help pass the time. I know that we just need to see how it plays out and had he gone home we would have been back here in outpatient having the transfusion anyway so better off this way but I just feel so bad for his little broken heart today. Period the end