Although I did have a decent night sleep tonight, I had a very long and emotional day, needing to recount several events of this past year we have had. I have not taken a chance to look back at all of this and now that I have I realize how awful it really has been. Wow has this kid been through a lot, and yes so have we. Rob said that someone said to him yesterday “I don’t know how you do it. I couldn’t do it” REALLY I thought? REALLY? What would you do? Just drop your kid off at the door of the hospital and walk away. You don’t get to choose your situation when it comes to things like this. You elected to have a child and you get what you get. Whatever comes with it. Now that being said, plenty of parents aren’t here taking care of their kids on an ongoing basis like I am, but that is their choice. I don’t feel I have a choice. How do we do it? That almost makes me angry, but instead I will choose to be sad for this person that they feel that they wouldn’t have it in them to take care of a sick child and weather the storm…but guess what? You do. Somehow we have the capacity to love and have strength and go deeper when you need it. I have found I can live on very little up here with Daniel and small words of good news can carry you very long way and news of concern only pushes you harder to find the strength you have but didn’t know you did. So when asked how you do it? I would have to ask back, do what? Love your child no matter what. Do What? Be there when they need you and even when they don’t want you there. Do what? Put on a brave face and be happy, when you are falling apart inside and won’t let your kid see you cry. Do what? Sacrifice whatever it takes of yourself to stay strong and be able to support your child. I ask you, isn’t this what being a parent is? How do you do it?
4 Comments
Ilana Steinberg
1/13/2015 03:49:46 pm
Amen, Nadine! Your reflections throughout this journey have been so powerful and honest. You are teaching all of us so much.
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mom and dad
1/13/2015 07:20:37 pm
Nadine we are extremely proud of everything you are doing
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AuntyMandy
1/15/2015 12:20:08 am
Thinking of you and your strength and bravery that you ALL move thru everyday. Sending Love and Strength where it's needed most. Love always Aunty Mandy
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Chandra
1/15/2015 12:49:12 pm
That is beautifully put Nadine. You are doing a great job! Sending love to you all.
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