As I sit here in a coffee shop in Boulder looking out on the beautiful flat irons I am once again overwhelmed with so many emotions. Daniel is with two of his friends on a training ride for the Courage Classic bike ride later this month and I have to stop and just think about that. He is going to ride 80miles in 2 days (or at least try). Seriously what an accomplishment after two years, actually three years of the physical shit storm he has been through. He is often putting on a front for how well he is doing, because I know how he is still physically struggling with pain. You see what we have determined is that he is a very physically determined and active teenage boy that is far ahead of what his healing body is ready for. What the Orthopedic Oncologist tells us is basically chemotherapy has done its job as it has supposed to do for it’s purposes (destroying Cancer), but in its path, it damages so much more. It takes a lot of good with the bad unfortunately and one of the many parts of Childhood Cancer and its treatment is long term effects and side effects of treatments that are not meant for children because of the lack of advancements that are made in medicine and research to these treatment in over the past decades. Don’t get me started on #morethan4. (Please ask me if you would like to know more, that is my PSA). To make a long story short Daniel wanted to be done with this crap and get back to his life a lot faster than his body was ready to allow and because of this he suffers the physical. There is a lot to be said to mind over matter but physically the body still takes a long time to heal when it has been beaten down so badly. If you look at Daniel he looks amazing on the outside. If you like at Daniel on an xray it does not look as good. His blood work is strong and that is comforting. It is not perfect but that is a long process that takes years until doctors are comfortable to say we can breathe easy and we know that. That we have no choice but I want him to live pain free and that is not happening yet. Daniel became too active while his bones and tissues were too weak and depleted to have healed. He is a kid and it is hard to stop him or even slow him down. It is a double edged sword so to speak, you want him to be active but you want to keep him safe at all costs, so what is the balance? We haven’t found this. So now we have the originally healing, as well as new healing caused by damage from reinitiating activity too soon. He needed therapy, he needs pain relief, we have tried total rest we have tried combinations and none seem to work, what we do know is that the doctor says that the absence of treatment (chemotherapy) is the best thing. Well , no shit. At least we are doing that. Chemotherapy is NOWHERE in Daniels future, so now we just need to give it time, I guess. Time to regain bone density and vascular strength. I know that rest is not an option so I will just have to give up that as an option and let him do it his way. Dr. Craddock (BMT primary) tells me it is a good problem, albeit frustrating, that he is as active as he is and that we are in this place. I know this. And I keep telling myself this and I need to keep reminding myself this and as I think of him in the pain he was in two years ago for the reasons then, I will try to think of this pain as a good pain.
And before I can even finish writing this blog the boys ride in from 26 miles of climbing at altitude in preparation for the courage classic in a couple weeks. Do I think he is training properly? No. Is he training like a teenager that will do what he wants to do and that will end up being just fine? Yes.
If you can come join Daniel and his friends to support and cheer him on during the Courage Classic or help me at our Bone Marrow drive Friday July 22 through Sunday July 24 and see Daniel give an inspirational speech to his team on Saturday night please come to Copper Mountain. If you can’t and want to support him and his friends and the hospital who saved him please feel free to make a small donation if you like.
http://chcof.convio.net/site/TR/CourageClassic/General?px=1222036&pg=personal&fr_id=1370
And before I can even finish writing this blog the boys ride in from 26 miles of climbing at altitude in preparation for the courage classic in a couple weeks. Do I think he is training properly? No. Is he training like a teenager that will do what he wants to do and that will end up being just fine? Yes.
If you can come join Daniel and his friends to support and cheer him on during the Courage Classic or help me at our Bone Marrow drive Friday July 22 through Sunday July 24 and see Daniel give an inspirational speech to his team on Saturday night please come to Copper Mountain. If you can’t and want to support him and his friends and the hospital who saved him please feel free to make a small donation if you like.
http://chcof.convio.net/site/TR/CourageClassic/General?px=1222036&pg=personal&fr_id=1370